Adoption update

We have wanted to adopt for some time now and since our blessed pregnancy, it seems things were put on hold. But last night we received a call about a baby being born--right then! My heart was overjoyed and about leaped out of my chest! I thought for sure the Lord put the adoption on hold, but then it seem opened up again. So here's the kicker--we do not have the funds. We would have to be in Utah today to meet BM and about 15 other things would have to take place besides financing. Details like how would we pay for everything, how would my husband get off work, how would we pay for us all to fly there, resceduling of my husbands surgery on Friday, etc.. I would be required to stay for 2 weeks, with the boys and then I would homeschool in the hotel room, pregnant with a newborn! And yet, I want to do it!

This whole journey of adoption has been a walk of faith. We started with $0. Then after prayer and a fund raiser we received about $4000. Praise to Jesus! Those funds went to our paperwork, the 5 agencies we applied to, fingerprinting, copies of our profile and to Christian Adoption Consultants. Then we were back down to $0. Yet I felt like it was not to big for God. He could provide if a situation came up. We were eventually shown to 7 BM and not selected, then we got pregnant. We were so overjoyed with that news! We said to the Lord that we would still adopt if He had a child for us. No calls came for a couple months. Then the one last night came and blew me out of the water. We said yes we be presented, then pulled that back because of $0. Sometimes I get so frustrated because we are willing and yet we had to say no. I woke this morning heavy burdened and sad and wanting to take care of the little baby if her mom chose to have her adopted.

My prayer is no regret, yet I feel regret because we had no $ and had to say no. Jesus help me to hold my heart right before you and remember that your plans are perfect and you know where I am.