waiting is the hardest

On to the next leg of the journey. We turned in our paperwork yesturday to CAC and now I will be gathering the many applications and paperwork needed to give the adoption agencies. It is definatly stretching my patience muscle! Oh, I know that waiting is the hardest part, but I think that the uncertainty of how it will all look at the end is hard. The Lord has called us on this journey and in doing so, we wait. I have so many what if's and questions that as soon as I leave the Lord's side-even for a moment, I lose my peace. I desire to wait on Him and trust His leadership. As I am wiriting this here is what I am reminded of:
Jer 29:11
For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the LORD, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope.

Pro 3:5
Trust in the LORD with all your heart, And lean not on your own understanding;

Pro 3:6
In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He shall direct* your paths.

There are thoughts I have about the sin in my own heart that may prohibit me in parenting a child not of my own flesh. I know that my own strength is false and I can only lean upon Jesus for help. Will I love our baby girl the same? How will I treat her compared to my other kiddos? Will I be able to defend her and show her she is wanted and desired in our home. Can we show her heritage and help teach her where she came from. We will always point her to the cross and the one true love who will never fail her. I am sure He is able to help me with all these things and I must rest in the shadow of His wings for my help and refreshment. For now waiting is the hardest part.